totally rollercoaster ride for my emotions today...

was so happy... then totally dropped sooooo low... it just only a meet up, i have no idea why i felt so ecstatic, and similarly i dunno why i feel so depressed now...

fail...

I really dunno why she has this kind of powers over me... There's no wrong that she can do... And I feel all weak and lost and lonely when she's to around...

Without her everything seems pointless... I always thought I'm not someone like this, but this time round, I have been proven absolutely wrong... I'm still a emotional fuck after all... My actions, my feelings, my thoughts are all been guided by my emotions... And u know what's the worse (or maybe it's the best?)... My emotions are all controlled by her...

Fail...

But the most important thing, I actually dun mind her having this kind of powers over me... Haha, the irony of it all...

Mmm when is this period going to end? It's really killing me... The distance between us is so unbearable... Yes even though we are messaging everyday, yet it's not enough... I wanna be able to see u, hold u, smell u... When...

It's raining... And somehow things are getting slightly better... Mmmmm that's good right?

So Friday the 13 was bad... But Saturday the 14 was even worse... Started off like crap, dun see how it can actually turn out better... It prob can take a turn for the worst, and judging by my damn luck, and my current freaking streak of doing the wrong things, it will get worse...

I shall wait and see...

So I guessed I have been given the marching orders...

But the damn thing is that we have done so much together, we have spend so much time together, now I dunno how to lead my own life... That is why I did the things I did last night... I dunno what to do anymore...

Now all I can think of doing is just lying on my bed... Dun even feel like eating... I dunno what to do! I dunno whee to go! I dun even feel like meeting people at all... This is damn bad...

Yay I have messed up again... I managed to turn a wonderful gesture into something which now appears to be a fucking bad move... I'm good... How did I even accomplish it? No fucking idea....

its been ages... but dunno where to vent all these frustrations... so hopefully no one is reading...

all these sucks...

i dunno what im supposed to do now...

wait?

let go?

am i just dumb and being a hopelessly hopeful?

crap...

woah...

woah... its been exactly nine months since my last entry...

and im just feeling so bored, so tired, so sick of studying and tat explains why im back blogging again...

crap... no motivation... exams are like one week away and i totally not in the mood to study... its my second last sem already... but still no motivation... NOOOOOOO!!!